✎* coming to you !! @jkbaws
“I wish I could say that’s ridiculous.” It was 2016 already. Neither had she expected to wait this long for her debut but to do so in time with Jennie, she couldn’t deny just how hopeful she was. Far many had trained longer than her and she’s witnessed them all go. Before you know it, she’s not last place on training years anymore and she could feel herself becoming indespensable to the group - it was enough reason to keep going, wasn’t it? But now three years have passed. Five for her two unnies. Collectively they’re in the decades already and while her energy kept them going a lot, she fell victim to her leader’s dark reflection every once in a while.
“I do think we have a stronger chance than them. You know… If the survival show happens to be in WIN format, and not Mix & Match.” She can’t stomach another member swap. Or watching trainees leave altogether when she barely got over filling the duties an injured Eunbi left behind. Now they have to consider being pitted against dongsaengs, who have grown in the time Chaeyoung and her group were forever waiting. One hopeful statement after another but there was still no progress – nothing exposed to the public that would showcase their growth as ‘ready’ trainees.
“Dancing has always been their strength. And the public know Sua now, too… But hey! We have Lisa. And I’ve improved too don’t you think? Not stepping on your toes anymore, am I riiight unnie?” Even with Jisoo in the group there was no denying Chaeyoung’s own quality as a happy pill.
She was done giving false hope to her dongsaengs, members in general, and herself of course. Maybe to them she was being a pessimist, especially with how glum she’d been. Can she be blamed? A lot of things have happened and it had to occur all in the holidays. How more tragic could it be? Depression aside, she believed she was just being realistic. 2016 marks her 6th year as a trainee. 4 years ago, she was promised a debut along with her members. Bigger line up, bluesy concept. Now half of them has gone and went. Yuna being part of another group equally competitive. She couldn’t deny she was a fan, too.
It wasn’t just previous members in her supposed group. Even friends. Nayeon in TWICE. Chahee in Melody Day. Who’s next? Well, not her. Their boss had to give way to two boy groups in a row. Now it was just hard to welcome the idea of a survival show. “We’ve been on this for years.” she speaks up finally, heaving a deep, deep sigh. “It’s been a competition since day one. We don’t need any more of this. Just imagine all the comparisons.” It’s what she dreaded the most. The pattern. How the audience seemed to favor the younger group over the older. She didn’t want that for her own group. Maybe she could take it but she wasn’t alone in this and she just wanted the best for the rest. An undivided attention.
There was a lot to take into account and just enumerating it in her head already exhausted her. “I just don’t wanna think about it right now… while it’s not there yet.” a soft smile rests on her face, still trying to show that her words of encouragement was being acknowledge. “You’re so cute.” She laughs, pinching her cheeks before leaning forward and lacing her arms around her. “I know. I know! You’ve been doing so great. I’m proud of you. All of us. We’ve improved a lot. We’re so ready, aren’t we?” Even her last words hint of bitterness and the former smile that changed to a bland expression doesn’t hide it.
